Bye Bye, Babydoll

I'm in a fashion rut. I'm actually afraid that it's becoming more of an identity crisis so let's see if I can figure it all out on here. If I had to describe my "look" throughout the years I'd say that it vacillated between cute and girly during the day (think headbands and pink babydoll cotton pique tops with jeans) and Classically alluring (think short black skirt with a blousy top or short high necked dress and heels) at night. I think that the Classically alluring look could still work out if I were actually still going out a lot which I'm not. That's a whole other post but let's leave evening outfits where they are for the moment. The real dilemma is in my day wear/identity.

New Yorkers are a fashionably diverse bunch and one might even suggest that "everything goes" in the city. While this may in fact be true, I don't really like sticking out like a sore thumb. With that in mind, most of my Miami colors (think guava, turquoise, pink, cream) would be quite the contrast against the concrete and glass cityscape. Not a pastel building or bright green palm tree to be seen here. Nope.

So I've tried to focus on neutral, dark colors with splashes of color here and there. The problem is that I need to update my closet and my age (tum tum tuuuuuum) is now coming into play. I find myself wandering through the aisles of Urban Outfitters and H&M searching for some fun, trendy pieces and I'm staring at myself in the dressing room mirror feeling like the younger style just doesn't suit my personality anymore. "Is this headband too early 20s for me?" "Do I look like I'm trying to look younger than my age?" There is nothing I hate more than older women trying to look younger via their fashion choices. "Am I holding on to this 'cute little girl' image too long?" "Who the hell am I?" Hmph.

This leads me into different stores where maybe I can find classic pieces that will suit my age better. The problem is twofold, a) price tags are reaching great, great heights, and b) this style might not be comfortable either. It's very clear that as you get older, clothes get pricier and pricier. I guess they're assuming that I'm making more money now. I am in my early 30s after all, right? Aaaaaah, little do they know that I will be struggling for quite some time.

Okay, deep breaths. Neck rolls to the left, neck rolls to the right. I'm suddenly staring at myself in the dressing room mirror again and this time I see a youngish mom who juggles her career and hosts trendy dinner parties in her West Village apartment and I'm not quite there yet, either! The inevitable question that follows is, "shouldn't I be there by now, though?".

Admittedly, I've never been good at all this fashion stuff but it sure was a lot easier when I was in my 20s. Forever 21 in a cinch and I'd look perfectly cute and acceptable. A disposable sexy top with a short denim skirt and a headband. Out the door I go.

There's the issue. "Cute" just isn't gonna cut it anymore and yet older, sexier, more confident looks don't seem quite right for me yet either. You'd think I'd be heading in the right direction but I just got my first Chuck Taylors and I've been eyeing my short dress and legging combination for spring, already. Aw shucks, maybe I'll throw a headband in for good measure.