Comfy and Cozy

I'm sitting at home and I'm feeling comfy and cozy. Christmas definitely has a positive effect on me. Tomorrow I start packing for the journey home to Miami where a tropical holiday awaits. Hot and muggy, not so yummy.

I find myself getting very comfortable with my situation here in NY, right now. I'm teaching my classes in the mornings and evenings and I have some nice free time in between where I probably should be exercising but find myself napping instead. I used to never be able to nap but now I'm an expert. When my morning session finishes I find myself smiling into the cold sheets in bed and not feeling a lick of guilt. Very nice.

The problem with all of this is that things will have to change at some point. The choices are that I enter into a Masters of Education program in the Fall of 2010 and eventually start teaching in a classroom setting or, here's the bad one, that I have to be uprooted from the city and go through the no job panic again. At that point I'd have to apply to Masters programs wherever I end up. That's obviously the worse choice.

The reason it's even a choice is because the BF has been laid off and jobs are scarce in his field. It's looking more and more like California has the most opportunities. I don't know if I can handle the ditzyness and superficiality of the West Coast. Hey, I was finally out of Miami! I don't need to enter that world again. I know, I know. Not everyone is like that over there. Still, it's definitely a different vibe than the East Coast vibe and I really like the one I'm feeling right now.

Anyhow, this is all pure speculation so I should just enjoy what I have right in this moment, right? Let's just see where this "Winding Road" takes me...

Silver Bells, Silver Bells

It's Christmas time in the city...

I admit, I was skeptical about whether the Christmas season could get me out of my funk but it did. Really it's specifically the city during Christmas. New York City is always magical but it is exceptional during this time. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that it's a walking city and you can really absorb the decorations and lights at a slow pace instead of watching them as you zoom by in your car at 50 miles per hour.

This past weekend we had some friends in town and it was their first visit to NYC. We became tour guides and decided to get as much stuff in as possible. It sounds like a pain in the ass but it turned out to be an amazing weekend. Between Rockefeller Center and the tree, Soho shopping in winter coats, dinner in the Upper West Side as the first season's flurries came down outside, the renewed awe of Times Square at night, and ice skating and hot cocoa in Bryant Park, I could not have been happier about living here.

This year has been full of obstacles and transitions. The bf was laid off again due to office closings so we're back to being as tight as we were back in March. Making new friends is still difficult since I'm working from home. And being away from family is more heartwrenching than I ever expected. But still, we seem to be getting by inch by inch. As I took in the holiday cheer through the cotton-like snow in the air I knew that things could only get better here.

I mean, it's New York and it's Christmas. How can you not feel hopeful?

Negative Nelly, I know...

Wow. It's been 7 months since my last post. I'm clearly not good at this blogging thing. I also think that I'd be boring the daylights out of you if you had to read about my boring life every week.

Things have changed. A little. I'm currently working from home teaching Korean professionals English. It's convenient but also very socially isolating. I never see or meet anyone new. Living in New York, for this introvert, has been very different than what I expected. I never realized how much I depend on others to make plans for me and to make my life exciting. Looking back, it's always been like that. I tend to latch on to people who are the leaders in the social planning arena.

I'm also realizing how picky I am about who I really want to spend my time with. Spending time with people who I don't have A LOT in common with ends up annoying me and making me feel like I'd much rather be home alone. I miss my friends.

Am I that Miami cliche after all? Am I the kind of person who really never wants to leave the comforts and safety of the bubble? It's turning out that way.

Pizza and a Cookie, Please.

Lately I've come to appreciate the little things in life. Maybe that's because they make my otherwise boring day a little bit better. First off, there's the two dollar slice of real New York style pizza I can get at George's across the street. Buttery cheese and a delicious doughy crust. George is usually there kneading the dough for one of his pies and greeting you in that rough but friendly New York style. Awesome. I'm glad to be a part of the neighborhood pizza clique.

Another goodie can be found a few storefronts down at Smile Deli, one of the many small overpriced grocery marts on the block. That would be my black and white cookie. If you didn't already know, B&W cookies are a New York staple as well. Not really a cookie, the B&W is more like a spongey cake in the shape of a large cookie with a fondant style icing on top that's half vanilla, half chocolate. I first discovered these at the Alton Road Starbucks on South Beach and now I can say that this New Yorker is enjoying her cookie in its home territory.

The way I see it, if I can get by with a cookie for lunch and a slice for dinner I could even wind up losing some weight on my newfound neighborhood diet.

Unemployed and Not Having Fun

So, the move has been made. Since my last post, my boyfriend and I have picked up and moved to the Big Apple. This last year has involved more moves for me than ever before. I feel a little disoriented, I have to admit.

I'm looking for work and the economy is not on my side. Also against me is the fact that I'm trying, still, to decide what I want to be when I grow up. At the tender age of 32 I'm figuring out that I may need to go back to school and pursue a Masters degree in Speech and Language Pathology.

Making the choice just a bit more difficult is the fact that I have law school loans and would have to take out additional loans in order to earn this Masters degree. Oh, and did I forget to mention that I have to take pre-requisite courses (not eligible for financial aid) before applying to the program?

My rational mind tells me this plan of mine isn't financially feasible and would just end up taking up more time that I could be using to earn money and establish a stable life for myself. My risk taking heart tells me that this is a perfect opportunity to finally do something that matters to me and that may provide that long sought after stability. Which one will win?